Children who are socially withdrawn, shy, and appear to lack self-esteem are more likely than other children to be targets for bullying. Children who appear confident and strong are better able to discourage children from harassing them.

Parents and other important adults in a child’s life can use these suggestions to help boost a child’s self-esteem:

• Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities such as sports or drama, which can raise a child’s confidence and sense of mastery. Sports, in particular, also help build strength, which can level the imbalance of physical power between children. Some children may prefer individual sports (such as karate, gymnastics, and swimming) over group sports (such as soccer or baseball). Drama classes can help children project strength and confidence, even if they don’t feel it at first.
• Help children become involved socially with other children through school, church, or community activities. This way, children will build social skills and learn to be at ease with others. Children who have friends and “hang out” with them at school are less likely to be targets for bullying than lonely children who have no social support.
• Role-play with children to show them how to appear confident and how to handle encounters with children who harass them. Help children learn to look people in the eye and to speak with a strong voice—but not shout—when talking to would-be bullies.

©1997–2019, Healthwise, Incorporated

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Childhood isn’t all fun and games. Even young children can feel worried and stressed.

Stress can come from outside sources, such as family, friends, and school. It can also come from children themselves. Just like adults, children may expect too much of themselves and then feel stressed when they feel that they have failed.

How can you help your child with stress?

Adults can help children and teens with stress in many ways. Three important things you can do are to:

• Try to reduce the amount of stress in your lives.
• Help them build positive coping skills.
• Teach them to let stress out.

Reduce the amount of stress in your lives

• Acknowledge your child’s feelings. When children seem sad or scared, for example, tell them you notice they are sad or scared. If appropriate, reassure them that you can understand why they would feel sad or scared.
• Develop trust, and let your child know that mistakes are learning experiences.
• Be supportive, and listen to your child’s concerns. Allow your child to try to solve his or her own problems, if appropriate. But offer to help and be available to your child when he or she needs you.
• Show love, warmth, and care. Hug your child often.
• Have clear expectations without being too strict. Let your child know that cooperation is more important than competition.
• Don’t over-schedule your child with too many activities.
• Be aware of what your child wants (not just what you want).

Build positive coping skills

It is important to help children learn positive coping skills. These skills are often carried into adult life.

• Provide a good example. Keep calm, and express your anger in appropriate ways. Think through plans to reduce stress, and share them with your family.
• Teach them about consequences. Children need to learn about the consequences—good and bad—of their actions. For example, if they do all of their chores on time, they will get their allowance. If they break another child’s toy, they must find a way to replace it.
• Encourage rational thinking. Help your children understand what is fantasy and what is reality. For example, help them see that their behavior did not cause a divorce, or that they are not failures because they were not picked first for something.
• Provide them with some control. Allow your children to make choices within your family framework. For example, allow them to arrange their rooms, choose family activities, and help make family decisions.
• Encourage them to eat healthy foods, and emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle.

Get the stress out

Finding ways to get stress out of their systems will help children feel better. The best ways to relieve stress are different for each person. Try some of these ideas to see which ones work for your child:

• Exercise. Regular exercise is one of the best ways to manage stress. For children, this means activities like walking, bike-riding, outdoor play, and individual and group sports.
• Write or draw. Older children often find it helpful to write about the things that are bothering them. Younger children may be helped by drawing about those things.
• Let feelings out. Invite your child to talk, laugh, cry, and express anger when he or she needs to.
• Do something fun. A hobby can help your child relax. Volunteer work or work that helps others can be a great stress reliever for older children.
• Learn ways to relax. This can include breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises, massage, aromatherapy, meditating, praying, yoga, or relaxing exercises like tai chi and qi gong.
  • Stress Management: Relaxing Your Mind and Body
• Laugh. Laughter really can be the best medicine. You can be a good role model in this area by looking for the humor in life. Your child can learn this valuable skill by watching you.

©1997–2019, Healthwise, Incorporated

Read the full article here: https://www.healthwise.net/magellanhealth/Content/StdDocument.aspx?DOCHWID=aba5971#aba5972

This document is for your information only. It is not meant to give medical advice. It should not be used to replace a visit with a provider. Magellan Health does not endorse other resources that may be mentioned here.

The holidays are a fun and joyous time but also a very busy one, and holiday stress and anxiety in children can and does happen. During the holidays, there are lots of fun activities and events going on, both at home and at school. And while that can be a good thing, the constant hustle and bustle can be just as overwhelming and nerve-wracking for children as it is for adults.

Recognize the signs that your child is stressed out. These signs may include:

• increased irritability or anger
• clinginess
• more crying, whining, or complaining
• sleep troubles (or sleeping too much)
• physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches
• more or less eating
• isolation and/or refusal to participate in activities
• regressive behavior such as bedwetting or thumb- sucking

Try these tips to help alleviate your child’s stress and make the holiday season a merrier time for everyone:

Set a Calm Example

The most important way parents can help ease anxiety in children during the holidays is by trying to keep things relaxed as much as possible. As with so many situations, the way parents handle an issue can set the tone for how their kids will behave. If you let holiday stress get to you, your kids will definitely pick up on it, and child anxiety is more likely to be a problem in your house. To minimize anxiety in children during the holidays, take steps to handle your own stress and anxiety.

Set Up Conditions for Good Behavior

Avoid taking your child to places such as the mall or holiday gatherings when he is hungry or tired. It’s hard even for grown-ups to deal with noise and lots of stimulation when they’re not feeling their best; kids get hungry more often and become tired more easily, and may understandably have a tough time being on their best behavior and are more likely to experience holiday stress when they’re exhausted or hungry.

Remember the Importance of Routines

The holidays can throw a big wrench into household routines, and that can play a role in anxiety in children.  To minimize holiday stress in your kids, try to get routines back on track once an event or party is over. For instance, if a school holiday concert or a church gathering goes past your child’s bedtime, try to stick to quiet, calm activities the next day and get your child to bed on time the next night.

Watch What They Are Eating

Another thing that can fall by the wayside amidst the holiday hubbub is healthy eating. Between all the extra sugary holiday snacks and the lack of time to sit down  to regular meals, it can be all too easy for kids to eat less healthy foods, which can contribute to holiday stress and anxiety in children. Try packing healthy snacks when you have to go shopping or run other holiday errands and try to minimize the number of sweet treats at home. Whenever possible, offer healthy snacks, such as air-popped popcorn or apple slices with cheese and crackers and limit cookies and candy to after-snack treats.

Get Your Child Moving

Fresh air and exercise are essential for boosting mood and re-setting the spirit, which can alleviate holiday stress and anxiety in children. Make sure you schedule some time to get your child outside to run around and play.

Avoid Overscheduling

As tempting as it may be to accept every invitation from friends and family, try to limit your holiday parties and activities so that you and your child are not overwhelmed. A couple of events a week may be fine, but having an obligation every day can lead to holiday stress and anxiety in children.

Have Your Grade-Schooler Help You

Big kids love to help mom and dad, especially if they get lots of praise for being responsible and helpful. If you have to shop, ask your child to help you look for an item at the store (fun stocking stuffers for cousins, for example). Giving your child a task will not only boost her self-esteem, it’ll distract her and help prevent any holiday stress and anxiety.

Schedule Some Quiet Time

Having some peace and quiet with your child is more important than ever during the busy holiday season. Find a quiet corner and read a book with your child or create holiday pictures for grandma and grandpa. Take a walk outside in nature, away from noise and crowds and obligations.

Remind Your Child and Yourself What the Holidays Are Really All About

A great antidote for holiday stress and the bloated commercialism of the season is helping others, whether it’s by shoveling an elderly neighbor’s sidewalk or by wrapping presents for needy kids at your local church. Helping your grade-schooler become a charitable child will help alleviate her holiday stress and anxiety.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

Family members can play an important role in helping a loved one with co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders get on the road to recovery. Support a loved one’s recovery by:

• Helping a loved one remember to take all prescribed medications for one or both disorders
• Listening to any concerns about medications – such as their purpose, benefits, and side effects – and helping address those concerns
• Making sure appointments with treatment providers are kept
• Working with the treatment team to stay informed and help address any issues related to medication

To learn more, visit Mind Your Mental Health.

Source: Behavioral Health Evolution

What is depression in children and teens?

Depression is a serious mood disorder that can take the joy from a child’s life. It is normal for a child to be moody or sad from time to time. You can expect these feelings after the death of a pet or a move to a new city. But if these feelings last for weeks or months, they may be a sign of depression.

Experts used to think that only adults could get depression. Now we know that even a young child can have depression that needs treatment to improve. As many as 2 out of 100 young children and 8 out of 100 teens have serious depression.

Still, many children don’t get the treatment they need. This is partly because it can be hard to tell the difference between depression and normal moodiness. Also, depression may not look the same in a child as in an adult.

If you are worried about your child, learn more about the symptoms in children. Talk to your child to see how he or she is feeling. If you think your child is depressed, talk to your doctor or a counselor. The sooner a child gets treatment, the sooner he or she will start to feel better.

What are the symptoms?

A child may be depressed if he or she:

• Is irritable, sad, withdrawn, or bored most of the time.
• Does not take pleasure in things he or she used to enjoy.

A child who is depressed may also:

• Lose or gain weight.
• Sleep too much or too little.
• Feel hopeless, worthless, or guilty.
• Have trouble concentrating, thinking, or making decisions.
• Think about death or suicide a lot.

The symptoms of depression are often overlooked at first. It can be hard to see that symptoms are all part of the same problem.

Also, the symptoms may be different depending on how old the child is.

• Both very young children and grade-school children may lack energy and become withdrawn. They may show little emotion, seem to feel hopeless, and have trouble sleeping. Often they will lose interest in friends and activities they liked before. They may complain of headaches or stomachaches. A child may be more anxious or clingy with caregivers.
• Teens may sleep a lot or move or speak more slowly than usual. Some teens and children with severe depression may see or hear things that aren’t there (hallucinate) or have false beliefs (delusions).

Depression can range from mild to severe. A child who feels a little “down” most of the time for a year or more may have a milder, ongoing form of depression called dysthymia (say “dis-THY-mee-uh”). In its most severe form, depression can cause a child to lose hope and want to die.

Whether depression is mild or severe, there are treatments that can help.

What causes depression?

Just what causes depression is not well understood. But it is linked to a problem with activity levels in certain parts of the brain as well as an imbalance of brain chemicals that affect mood. Things that may cause these problems include:

• Stressful events, such as changing schools, going through a divorce, or losing a close family member or friend.
• Some medicines, such as steroidsor opioids for pain relief.
• Family history. In some children, depression seems to be inherited.

How is depression diagnosed?

To diagnose depression, a doctor may do a physical exam and ask questions about your child’s past health. You and your child may be asked to fill out a form about your child’s symptoms. The doctor may ask your child questions to learn more about how he or she thinks, acts, and feels.

Some diseases can cause symptoms that look like depression. So the child may have tests to help rule out physical problems, such as a low thyroid level or anemia.

It is common for children with depression to have other problems too, such as anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or an eating disorder. The doctor may ask questions about these problems to help your child get the right diagnosis and treatment.

How is it treated?

Usually one of the first steps in treating depression is education for the child and his or her family. Teaching both the child and the family about depression can be a big help. It makes them less likely to blame themselves for the problem. Sometimes it can help other family members see that they are also depressed.

Counseling may help the child feel better. The type of counseling will depend on the age of the child. For young children, play therapy may be best. Older children and teens may benefit from cognitive-behavioral therapy. This type of counseling can help them change negative thoughts that make them feel bad.

Medicine may be an option if the child is very depressed. Combining antidepressant medicine with counseling often works best. A child with severe depression may need to be treated in the hospital.

There are some things you can do at home to help your child start to feel better.

• Encourage your child to get regular exercise, spend time with supportive friends, eat healthy foods, and get enough sleep.
• See that your child takes any medicine as prescribed and goes to all follow-up appointments.
• Make time to talk and listen to your child. Ask how he or she is feeling. Express your love and support.
• Remind your child that things will get better in time.

What should you know about antidepressant medicines?

Antidepressant medicines often work well for children who are depressed. But there are some important things you should know about these medicines.

• Children who take antidepressants should be watched closely. These medicines may increase the risk that a child will think about or try suicide, especially in the first few weeks of use. If your child takes an antidepressant, learn the warning signs of suicide, and get help right away if you see any of them. Common warning signs include:
  • Talking, drawing, or writing about death.
  • Giving away belongings.
  • Withdrawing from family and friends.
  • Having a plan, such as a gun or pills.
• Your child may start to feel better after 1 to 3 weeks of taking antidepressant medicine. But it can take as many as 6 to 8 weeks to see more improvement. Make sure your child takes antidepressants as prescribed and keeps taking them so they have time to work.
• A child may need to try several different antidepressants to find one that works. If you notice any warning signs or have concerns about the medicine, or if you do not notice any improvement by 3 weeks, talk to your child’s doctor.
• Do not let a child suddenly stop taking antidepressants. This could be dangerous. Your doctor can help you taper off the dose slowly to prevent problems

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

©Healthwise

A child’s mental health affects nearly every aspect of their overall health. Their physical health and their ability to become successful, contributing members of society depends on the state of mind they bring to every situation. Children’s mental health issues are real, common and treatable. An estimated 15 million of our nation’s young people can currently be diagnosed with a mental health disorder. Many more are at risk of developing a disorder due to genetic and environmental risk factors. However, it is estimated that only about 7 percent of youth who need services receive appropriate help from mental health professionals (Department of Health and Human Services, 2001 — Report of the Surgeon General’s Conference on Children’s Mental Health: A National Action Agenda).

1) What should I do if I am concerned about mental, behavioral, or emotional symptoms in my child? Keep in mind that every child is different. Even normal development, such as when children develop language, motor, and social skills, varies from child to child. If you are concerned about changes in behavior or other symptoms, talk to your child’s doctor or health care provider. If your child is in school ask the teacher about observed changes in behavior and see if the school system can provide an evaluation. Share this with your provider as well. Be prepared to seek further evaluation by a specialist with experience in child mental health issues. Specialists may include psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, psychiatric nurses, and behavioral therapists.

2) How do I know if my child’s problems are serious? Many everyday stressors can cause changes in a child’s behavior, however, not every problem is serious. For example, the birth of a sibling may cause a child to temporarily act much younger than he or she is. Behavior patterns that may indicate a more serious issue include:

• Problems across a variety of settings, such as at school, at home, or with peers
• Changes in appetite or sleep
• Social withdrawal, or fearful behavior toward things your child normally is not afraid of
• Returning to behaviors more common in younger children, such as bed-wetting, for a long time
• Signs of being upset, such as sadness or tearfulness
• Signs of self-destructive behavior, such as head-banging, or a tendency to get hurt often
• Repeated thoughts of death.

3) How are mental illnesses diagnosed in young children? Just like adults, children with mental illness are diagnosed after a doctor or mental health specialist carefully observes signs and symptoms. Some primary care physicians can diagnose a child themselves, but many will refer to a specialist for diagnosis and treatment.

• Before diagnosing a mental illness, the doctor or specialist tries to rule out other possible causes for a child’s behavior. The doctor will:
• Review the child’s medical history
• Discuss the issues you have observed
• Review the child’s developmental level
• Ask about any family history of mental health disorders
• Ask if the child has experienced physical or psychological traumas, such as a natural disaster, or situations that may cause stress, such as a death in the family
• Consider reports caretakers and/or teachers

Children are constantly changing and growing and diagnosis and treatment must be viewed with this in mind. While some problems are short-lived and don’t need treatment, others are ongoing and may be very serious. In either case, it is important to see more information so you can understand treatment options and make informed decisions.

3) What are the treatment options for children? The specialist will recommend specific treatment based on the diagnosis. Treatment options may include psychotherapy and/or medication. Talk about the options with the specialist and ask questions. Some treatment choices are a part of standard health care practice while others may be in the experimental stage.

4) Will my child get better with time? Some children get better with time and others children may need ongoing professional help, it all depends on the diagnosis. That is why it is important to consult with a health care providers as soon as possible because treatment may produce better results if started early.

5) How can families of children with mental illness get support? Like other serious illnesses, taking care of a child with mental illness is hard on the parents, family, and other caregivers. Support groups are available for many different types of issues and age groups. By sharing experiences in a safe and confidential setting encourages empathy and a sense of community.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

Sources: American Psychological Association, National Institute of Mental Health

If you’re raising children today, it can be easy to focus on the negative, especially with the constant media stream coming from all directions. Helping children see the positive in the world today is more important than ever. Research shows that optimists, who believe they can achieve success, are in fact more able to do so. They are less likely to get depressed, get fewer illnesses, have longer relationships, and live longer.

Here are 12 tips to help your children develop a positive outlook on life.

1. Quit complaining. Focusing on negative thoughts and frustrations is classic pessimism. The more you moan about troubles at work, money problems, etc. the more likely it is that your children will learn to do the same thing. Instead, try talking about things that go right.
2. Have high expectations. Kids won’t develop an optimistic, “can-do” attitude unless they have the opportunity to prove their worth.
3. Encourage reasonable risk-taking. Discouraging your children from doing activities because they might not be as skilled as other children can undermine their confidence.
4. Wait before reacting. Let your children try to solve things without your help. This will boost their sense of accomplishment and also make them more optimistic about what they can do in the future.
5. Be realistic and honest, even in difficult situations. For example, if your child is having a difficult time making friends at a new school, empathize with him/her, but explain that making friends takes time and he/she needs to take active steps to meet other kids and make friends.
6. Show your children you love them. Make time for them every day and use words and affection to show you care.
7. Be a positive role model. Your children will mimic your behaviors, so make sure you show them constructive ways of dealing with life’s challenges and misfortunes.
8. Allow your child to experience success. For example, give them age-appropriate tasks around the house and praise them for their efforts.
9. Teach practical skills with patience and humor. Help your child to keep up with peers – for example, tying shoelaces, using cutlery and managing the toilet.
10. Listen to their problems. Take concerns seriously and be supportive as they learn how to cope with life’s hurts and disappointments.
11. Point out the ‘silver lining’ in every cloud. Get your child into the habit of looking for the positives, even times where it may only seem like the chance to learn from a mistake.
12. Make happy events a regular part of your family life.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

Sources: Parents.com, Better Health Channel

Traumatic events, such as a sudden death, natural disaster, motor vehicle accident, or terrorist attack can leave children and teens feeling stressed, frightened, and helpless. Whether they personally witness the event or are exposed to it on the news or social media, children may experience intense emotions and a heightened sense of insecurity. Children’s reactions to a traumatic event depend on their age and personality, the severity of the event, the availability of support, and previous experience of trauma

Tips for all ages

Traumatic events can disrupt children’s sense of safety and result in fears and worries, nightmares, and physical reactions such as headaches, stomachaches, problems sleeping, and loss of appetite. Here are suggestions to help children through the emotional and physical challenges they may face after trauma:

• Be aware of your own reactions to the event and manage your own stress. Stay calm and offer hugs and reassurance to help restore your child’s sense of safety and security.
• Share information about the event and answer your child’s questions honestly. Listen to your child’s fears and let him/her know it is okay to share his/her feelings at any time.
• Limit or prevent exposure to disturbing news and social media coverage of the event. Children who see graphic images or hear distressing news stories may become re-traumatized.
• Maintain stable routines as much as possible, including regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and exercise.
• Engage in fun activities to help children relax and feel that life is returning to normal.
• Watch for signs of trauma, even after weeks have passed. Children cope with trauma in different ways, and some may show signs of sadness, anxiety, and troubling behavior weeks or months after the event.

Tips by age group

Preschool age

After a traumatic event, children who are age five and under may display behavior from an earlier stage of their lives, such as bedwetting, thumb-sucking, clinginess to parents, and fearfulness of strangers. They may have tantrums or cry more than usual, or become withdrawn from others. Parents and other adults can help children by providing comfort and reassurance, maintaining routines as much as possible, encouraging them to express their feelings, and giving simple explanations to children’s questions about the event. Children look to their parents for cues as to how to feel and react, and will pick up on a parent’s distress or anxiety. It is best not to expose young children to the news on TV or the radio about the traumatic event. Involving toddlers and preschoolers in fun activities and playtime with others will provide a healthy distraction.

Early childhood

Children ages 6 to 11 may show some of the same reactions that younger children have, such as reverting to more childish behaviors. They may have nightmares or trouble sleeping, find it difficult to concentrate in school, become irritable, anxious or disruptive, or lose interest in family, friends, and fun activities. Parents should reassure children that they are safe and will be taken care of no matter what. Encourage family discussion about the event and answer questions, but be careful about exposing children to news and TV footage. Keep bedtime and meal routines as normal as possible, and involve children in activities that keep them busy. Identify the positives such as community recovery activities and the ways people help each other get through difficult times.

Adolescence

Older children ages 12 – 17 may have stress reactions such as nightmares and flashbacks of the event, lose interest in school, hobbies, and friends, feel angry, guilty, or depressed, withdraw from others, have physical symptoms such as headaches, or abuse alcohol or other drugs. As with younger children, parents can help teens rebuild a sense of trust and safety by listening to their concerns without judgment and providing them with peer support opportunities. Age-appropriate volunteer activities can help teens feel useful and productive.

When to get help

Be aware of signs that a child may need extra help coping with the trauma. If six weeks or more have passed since the traumatic event and your child is not feeling better, has trouble functioning at school or at home, is withdrawn from friends and family, or continues to have physical complaints such as headaches, stomach pains, and problems sleeping or eating, contact a mental health professional.